I'm Trash; You May Be Too

a-dauntless-daffodil:

aqueerkettleofish:

alexseanchai:

ALT

image embedded in tweet is a full bin labeled “Free Condoms, Be Safe Today!”, with the aro flag on both the label and each of the condom packets, next to a full bin labeled “Free Water Balloons, Have Fun Today!”, doing the same thing with the ace flag.

This is in fact a funny joke, but it’s worth noting that that condoms are stronger than balloons. I say this as someone who has taken a 3 pound bag of water to the face that did not explode.

scribbles in ace diary: Do not… throw… water dicks… at ppl… unless… you… can cover… their… medical bills….

catgirl-smash:

fluffy-critter:

sleeping-martyr:

moment of silence for everyone who relied on AI chat bots for research when it’s going around saying shit like this.

[image description: search that reads “country in africa that starts with K”. the featured snipped is from www.emergentmind.com and reads “While there are 54 recognized countries in Africa, none of them begin with the letter “K”. The closest is Kenya, which starts with a “K” sound, but is actually spelled with a “K” sound. It’s always interesting to learn new trivia facts like this.” /end ID]

srcrintillate

woolandflax:

woolandflax:

woolandflax:

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

whencartoonsruletheworld:

ghostlybluemuffins:

whencartoonsruletheworld:

disney when they spend exactly $2 promoting their new movie and release it during a busy weekend and then it flops

ALT

@artist-heart83 There is actually a reason for this. A very disgusting and greedy capitalist reason but a reason nonetheless.

Basically, they are banking on it not doing well in theaters, but doing well on streaming services in October, over three months after the release date.

Most of the writers/actors/workers/etc paycheck depends on how well they do in theaters and the three months after the release.

Since it’ll fall in theaters and won’t pick up in streaming until after everyone has gotten (the majority of) their paycheck, they won’t have to pay their workers as much as their work is worth.

cool cool cool im making a molotov cocktail

kindly-whisper-norbury:

kindly-whisper-norbury:

My 11-year-old couldn’t decide what flavor of ramen to make, so I told her to flip a coin. Heads for spicy chicken, tails for beef.

Taking my advice, she flipped a penny, and when it landed on tails she said “Wait! Wait! I did it wrong!”

I told her that she did it right, because the real reason for flipping a coin isn’t to let fate decide for you, but because when the coin is in the air, you will suddenly realize what you wanted in the first place.

I’m sure there’s a life lesson there somewhere…

But honestly, I have never known her to pass up spicy chicken.

Update: Yesterday, her brother asked her if she wanted a corn dog and she couldn’t decide, so again I told her to flip a coin. She did so, and without even looking which way it landed, she snatched the penny up and said “I want a corn dog”.

Originally posted by mrchalamet-mrstyles

derinthescarletpescatarian:

thegaymertrainer:

I FINALLY FOUND IT AGAIN

Look when you hit on the winning formula the first time why change it

ceekari:

cipher-fresh:

mortimermcmirestinks:

always remember, friend,

now go in peace

This meme was inspired by the piece “Lucky 10,000” by Randall Monroe.

[ID: “One man’s [“Yeah, the Time Knife, we’ve all seen it” meme] is another man’s [“Was anyone going to tell me?” meme] /End ID]

internet heiroglyphics

weaver-z:

weaver-z:

weaver-z:

I do understand that “intelligence tests” are inaccurate and stupid. That being said, does anyone want to see the IQ test question so terrible that I felt I had to stand up and leave the room?

ALT

I spent about ten minutes wondering how there could possibly be an “odd one out” that wasn’t related to letters, vowels, consonants, or syllables. I tried desperately to remember any definitions or colloquial uses for these words that could make two of them synonyms or otherwise connect them.

Eventually, I selected “mitts” on the basis that it used a soft “i” sound while the others used hard “a” sounds, even though the question specifically said that wasn’t the reason one word was an “odd one out.”

That answer was correct. I scrolled down to see what their reasoning for why mitts was correct was…

ALT

…and had to restrain myself from putting a fist through the screen of my laptop.

Completely valid reasons to guess the word “mitts”:

• Mitts is the only word of the three that can’t be a verb.
• Mitts is the only plural listed.
• Grate and blame end in the letter E, and mitts does not.
• Grate and blame share a vowel sound.

Reasons to guess the word “mitts” if you’re playing mental Calvinball:

• Grate and blame can be “unscrambled” into Greta and Melba, which are names women can have!

certifiedwerewolf:

darkshrimpemotions:

Actually Captain Jack Harkness is SO important. During a time when we couldn’t get a single queer on screen in most shows and even those few we did get ended up dead 90% of the time, he was not only openly bisexual, he was openly bisexual and LITERALLY unable to die.

They buried that gay and he still dug himself up and kept fucking

the-rainbow-of-doom:

egberts:

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74

puppygirl-hornyposting:

ready-bek:

wyndryga:

funnytwittertweets:

youre telling me an F1 car gets a pit crew and i get one jackass with adhd?

reblogging for that comment jhc

warpedlamp:

pissvortex:

It’s what the creators want

turing-tested:

scribblyspaceskeleton:

endcant:

nobody these days talks enough about kitty mermaid chasing its tail underwater because it looks like a fish

It’s not too often I get an immediate, CLEAR mental image for something.